I Call it Like I smell it

I smell a pig!

Okay, during the compilation of my bachelors for Sally, there has been a mixture of triumphs and disgust, but more disgust. I will not divulge what dating sites I have used to list Sally, but let’s just say I’m utilizing five of the most popular sites. In each, I’m getting mixed reactions: a) weird, why are you picking your friend’s date; b) yeah baby, let’s all get together and I’ll slap you with my bologna cuz I’m a hot sweaty senior; c) when I was five, I Stubbed my toe… An somehow inadvertently my penis fell off; d) hey, how are you? I’m Mike.

I’ll go with “d”. This is challenging. It is difficult weeding through the swine-ish responses and the creepy make you want to scrub your eyeballs with steel wool ones. 🙂

Having fun. I have a handful of promising finalists.


Horny Toads

I am 32 and you would think that I could finally pick a good guy by now but that’s WRONG!! I have the perfect example….

Friday I met a guy and gave him my number. He was cute, tall and thick…my favorite! So anywhoo… He calls me Saturday @ 3am and he was drunk…that should have been where I hung up but I didn’t :/ Will I ever learn??

He starts to tell me what kind of person I was and that I was dominate and that he wasn’t one of those dumb dudes that allow a woman to run over them. I was like “Whoa… what are you talking about? You know nothing about me!” Then he said I was rude because he was “the man” and I didn’t know my place. Now deep down I really wanted to curse him out but in all actuality, he is to ignorant to fight with….

I know you ladies are like me. Love to smell good. Have to have the shampoo that society says we need for our hair and the lotion that is so expensive you would think there was gold and diamond crystals in them….lol Well this same guy tells me when he has a “woman” he does not appreciate what a woman does to keep her skin soft, smooth legs…all he can think about is “crap, now I have to go work and buy more shampoo, lotion and soap”…OMG LADIES….WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS THINK LIKE THAT!!! I guess he would prefer a woman that is like the crack –head Felicia from the movie FRIDAY. Needless to say that was the last straw for me even though I already knew in the beginning of the conversation this wasn’t going anywhere!

I know my prince charming is out there but I’m getting tired of kissing all the horny toads and waiting to see if they transform………I HAVE WARTS ON MY TONGUE 😛

I can’t wait till the 25 dates start. This will be fun 🙂 I trust Tiffany & I know she is going to pick some interesting fellas…lol


I want to join because I want to get my personal life together. I have the right to be treated like a woman, made to feel like a woman should!

Why do I choose the same guys? They seem to start off different but end up the same. Is it them or me?? Do I have a sign on my face that says “step all over me, I like it?” Million dollar questions…..

What am I doing wrong? Why do I continue to find the same guys.. My goal is to gain knowledge and understanding of myself.

The end result is going to be knowing what I need in my life and saying “No” to all the negativity.

I remember the first date I ever went on, I was 17 yrs old. Thought he was the greatest guy and didn’t help that he was super hot with capital H-O-T! But as fate would have it, he was my first experience with a possessive man. I was smart enough to get away but why was I never smart enough to recognize the warning signs with they had HUMUNGOUS red flags over their heads?! They went from being possessive and slowly progressed to abuse. Mental, physical and verbal abuse is what I became accustom to. Very sad I know… Unfortunately the abuse controlled every aspect of my life. I was emotionally unstable which caused me to have low self-esteem, over eating which in the end, made me feel less of a person. I still struggle with my weight to this day. I will never forget the day that the father of my son called me an animal and all I did was look at the ground and cry thinking I did something to deserve the way I was treated. Thinking what I needed to do to make things right when I was never the problem, IT WAS HIM!! Amazing how people make you feel ugly , worthless when they really have problems with themselves!

Dig Me Up From What I’m Under

Unequivocably Me Searching For Answers or the =ivalent

masochist eh em… Or one who practices masochism, as defined by dictionary.com, [mas•uh•kiz•uhm] means to take pleasure in suffering. Thus, a masochist is an individual who takes pleasure in suffering.

Hello, my name is Tiffany. I’m 25, and I’ve been a masochist for as long as I can remember. The biggest showcase of my self sabotage is in the long chain of manwhores I have dated.

Manwhore as defined by urbandictionary.com is a master of manipulating women. The reputation of Manwhore makes gaining new potential victims somewhat difficult, so most manwhores are forced to change territories and switch stomping grounds frequently.

For as Long as I can recall, like many of my fellow masochists, the bad boy image has proven appealing. Common sense and self respect almost never prevails, and I find myself continuing in the relationship long after the the proverbial writing is on the wall.

I can’t entirely blame myself, though. Isn’t it statistically true that most women prefer a dominant, overly confident male versus a nurturing, submissive one? Look at my generation’s heartthrobs: Zach Morris- undeniable ladies’ man who hooks up with every girl in school and even tries to bone the school nurse. Brad Pitt: Am I on glue or did he not bag his marriage to Jen for someone hotter? I could list an infinite number of examples, but you get the point. There is something undeniably appealing about these alpha males and we are 100% programmed into buying into it.


He’s Just Not That Into You

pointed out, we have a lot of ridiculous misconceptions about how men operate and we relentlessly pursue those who don’t want us, because the challenge “guarantees” the optimum reward.

Whatever the cause of my neurotic behavior, I have come to accept absolute responsibility for causing my own misery. My dating resume reads like a ‘what NOT to do’ of relationships.

My first boyfriend was an egotistical half man, half mutant with absolutely zero breeding. I’m being too harsh. Oh wait. No, I’m not. He did teach me quite a few things about myself: One- I was not really in love with him, and Two- I can go from being in love to being physically sickened by an individual in .3 seconds.

I did date a gentleman in between the two demons I call my exes, but I was too wrapped up to appreciate him. Again, my self sabotaging personality reared its ugly head. I am satisfied to know that he has found love in a great woman, and he genuinely has all of my well wishes. 🙂

The ogre I last dated… Well, there’s too much about him to contain in this blog, so I’ll leave that trash to my history.

One thing was consistent throughout my relationships and that is, I felt pressured to change myself to please another. These weren’t major life changes, just smaller more shallow requests… Be it my weight, not carrying myself with a more ghetto mentality, or just not being the exact opposite of myself. It bothered me so that I stifled my own personality and spent 99 if not 100% awkward and anxious when around them. I actually tried to remember making jokes with my exes, and could not recall a single instance. Anyone who knows me knows I literally cannot go ten minutes without joking about something. Suppressing a part of me that was so strong was wholly unnatural, that despite the agony of my breakups, I felt more relief than anything.

In introspection. I have ultimately learned a lot about myself through these experiences and I know what I want.

So how did this blog come about, you ask?

During a conversation with my friend, I surmised that I am indeed a masochist and probably will continually choose the same person. This may not be consciously occurring, but rather, subconsciously. I suggested that through the process of blind dating, you have no expectations and face no disappointment. Additionally, one’s good friends have an outside perspective on what happened, giving them better insight on our own relationships than we have from experiencing them. Isn’t it ironic how we set our standards exceptionally high for our friends’ significant others, yet drop the bar to the lowest depths for ourselves?

In doing this self analysis, I came up with the Fifty Blind Dates concept: Two friends, two states, 25 dates apiece. The friend selects the dates choosing personalities versus physicality to determine the dates.

My hope is that with Sally and I being unable to choose our own dates, there will be less of a chance of us dating the same man over and over.

I look forward to this experience, and I’m excited to share this with all of you. I hope that in reading our daily experiences, you will be inspired. You will see that there are good men out there, you’re just not looking for the right ones.

Even if my hypothesis is utterly flawed, the thought of stepping out of my comfort zone and taking this risk is exhilarating.

Tell all your friends to join us weekly! Thanks for reading!